There and Gone

Another play has come and gone. My first brush with Shakespeare has been met with some degree of success. I got to create a character and live in him. I met some wonderful people. I learned about myself, and I learned more about theatre. Now it is all gone. My script is recycled. My Mecutio only lives in the photographs and video taken (that do not really capture the life of the play). Most of the people I met I will rarely talk to again, and I will see them even less. Less than 24 hours after the last performance, even my costume is washed and sorted with the other hundreds of clothing items, lost in a sea of anonymous fabric, one day to be consorted with another character, whose future wearer will have no idea the life it once held on stage.
So what can I take from this? So many things in life are wonderful, thrilling, and brief. I have the memories of the people I have met and being a part of something pretty remarkable on stage. I have gained a new love of Shakespeare, and the knowledge and joy that comes from this is immeasurable. A few of the people I have met I'm sure I will keep in touch with. Perhaps the experience itself can teach me something. I was a part of something special, and now it's gone forever. But that is life. There are so many wonderful things in life that are so transient, and I take them for granted. As I grow older, I realize my friends have changed dramatically. I did not know many of the people I hang out with the most a year ago. Who knows how long they will be a part of my life. As my friends continue to move, get jobs, and start their lives, I know our relationships will change. I know the next step is to start a family, and while this is exciting, I can't help but know this will further change the people around me, and, some people will stop being a part of my life. I cannot take any of them for granted. Each relationship has taught me something. Some people have made me more reflective, some have made me laugh, some have made me more cautious with my heart. All have brought be joy at one time, and a few have brought me sorrow. It's time to move on. It's time to recycle some parts of my life. It's time to remember fondly the times I had, and know they have shaped me. It's time to put some relationships away, and know they will will have a new life with others.
The transient nature of theatre has taught me to cherish the moments I have, even if they are brief. Even for a moment, I can show someone kindness. For a moment, I can laugh with someone. For a moment I can make someone feel loved. I am reminded of this as this brief moment on stage flutters away like a whisper in the wind. I love these moments. This is why I do theatre.

Where Did My Life Go?

Seriously. I had some friends over last night to see the play. They spent the night and we ended up watching a movie when we got back. I realized then that I haven't turned on the TV for several weeks before that. I suppose that is good, but I don't feel like I have accomplish a lot either. I am in a Shakespearean play, which I have wanted to do for a while, and I have been busy with school, but it seems like I have not had time to myself. Then I started thinking about where I am in life. As I interact with the high schoolers in the play with me, I can't help but envy them. Some are preparing for the SAT ad ACT, some are narrowing down choices for college, and some are just starting to think about what to do after graduation. They can literally do anything. I realize I have missed my quarter-life crisis by a few years, but I do ponder if this is what I wanted for myself at this time in my life. I am very blessed to life a relatively laid back and stress free life. I credit this to my utter lack of expectation. A little more than a year ago, I had no idea I would be living in Fort Wayne, Indiana. If I were completely honest, I don't know where I will be a year from now. I have really enjoyed the past few years. With a couple of exceptions, my friends are very different from the ones I had two years ago. I am blessed to have a job I like, hobbies that keep me occupied, and friends to be with. I wonder sometimes if these are merely distractions to keep me content until I find what I really want. The problem is I really don't know what I want. A relationship would be nice, but I don't feel a real rush to get in one. I have been single for a couple of years now, but it still feels like I need to learn more about myself before I pursue someone. At the same time, I am surrounded by people who already had kids by the time they were my age. Most of my coworkers got married relatively young, and many of my friends are getting engaged. The thing is, it is very hard to meet new people, or at least spend enough time with someone to determine if you like them. It seems the only way to get to know someone is to ask someone on a date, which I abhor. I would like to meet people, and get to know people as organically as any other relationship, without ay pretense, which is hard. But I need to get on with life, because I missed my quarter life crisis, and I have work to do.

Zwounds!

So it has been my good fortune to develop laryngitis THE DAY WE OPEN ROMEO AND JULIET. It is terrible. I have 4 performances this weekend. Harvey Fierstein had a bigger range than I did last night. It was like running a 5k with shackles on your feet and dragging a bowling ball behind them. I gave the performance as best I could. It is not a good feeling knowing something is wrong with you. It is a worse feeling knowing the audience knows that there is something wrong with you. I have three more performances this weekend, and I am not looking forward to any of them. If I had known this was going to happen, I would not have auditioned back in May. But, such is life. The show must show on. [insert another pithy cliche here].

How making penis jokes gave me an appreciation for Shakespeare

Last May I tried out for Romeo and Juliet at a community theater. I didn't really want to try out, as I do not love Shakespeare, but the director asked me to. I ended up with the role of Mercutio (after a little controversy) and later that summer I started doing text work for the role. It was extremely difficult. Granted, I was traveling a lot that summer and did not really have much time to sit down with it until rehearsals started. As I stumbled through the script I thought how much my teachers have always said how much of a genius Shakespeare was. The text was beautiful gibberish. I knew in a sense it was beautiful and profound, it was just above my head. It wasn't until I made some headway on the character, and not really until I got on stage, that I really started making sense of it all. It didn't hurt that my character is really dirty. Every other phrase out of Mercutio's mouth was a double entendre for "penis." Indeed, there were some words that had five different meanings, and Shakespeare purposely meant all of them!
It sounds corny and cliche, but doing this play really opened the door to Shakespeare for me. I can finally appreciate the nuances and meaning behind some of his works. A paragraph if Shakespear is worth pages of our modern English. Once I am finished with this play I will tackle some other works like Macbeth, or Merchant of Venice. I will just need some commentaries handy...